The average casino provides the ideal backdrop for anyone interested in studying American demographics. One would be hard-pressed to find an environment that includes a more thorough cross-section of people. Everyone is there, whether or not they have the temperament or the savvy to be gambling their hard-earned cash.
Ultimately, just about everyone ends up at the blackjack table. Sit at a blackjack table for 2 or 3 hours (or even better, 7 or 8 hours), and you’re bound to come across a plethora of players to keep you entertained (or worse, annoyed). And yet, despite the fact that so many different types of people pack the casino, it seems that a handful of typical (or should I say stereotypical) players always seem to end up at my table.
Is it just me, or do any of these folks sound familiar to you too?
The Serious Sams
I play to win just as much as the next guy, but The Serious Sams don’t seem to be having any fun at all. Of course, The Serious Sams have basic blackjack strategy down cold, and they never make a mistake; but they also never smile, never make eye contact with the dealer or their fellow players and they never, ever speak (except of course to correct a dealer error). They may order bottled water every couple of hours, but do they notice the large-breasted waitress bringing it to them? Or the fact that she’s better looking than Pamela Anderson? Not a chance.
The Mamas and The Papas
The Mamas and The Papas are generally in their late 30s and early 40s and desperate for a good time, far away from their kids and their jobs. They tend to seize a table as a group, get a little tipsy, and are bent on becoming fast friends with the dealers. Usually one or two of them have a vague sense of basic strategy and the others are clueless, needing constant reminders of when to hit or stay. They go overboard trying to create camaraderie with the dealers and get visibly angry when the dealers don’t feel like joining in the fun. The dealer, after all, is ruining their vacation! But does the dealer care? No. He hates them.
The Drunken Frat Boys
There’s never a right time for The Drunken Frat Boy, but his presence is particularly annoying at the blackjack table. His body is always turned outward, towards the casino floor (so he can continue his drunken conversation with other drunken frat boys), and he’s constantly oblivious to the fact that the dealer is waiting on him. The Drunken Frat Boy has obviously failed Basic Strategy 101, but when he hits a pair of sevens against a dealer’s six, what happens? You guessed it. He draws the third seven and celebrates like he’s a blackjack genius.
The Hoverers
By definition, The Hoverer is not actually sitting at the blackjack table. She’s standing directly behind her boyfriend taking it all in. Her boyfriend is a fine blackjack player, but he’s burdened by having to keep The Hoverer entertained. He tries to explain the game to her, but deep down he’s hoping she’ll go to the spa or take a dip in pool and just leave him alone for a few hours. The Hoverer may sit at the table for a few a hands, but will quickly return to hovering mode after losing ten or twenty dollars. Fortunately, sometimes The Hoverer is hot and makes for a nice distraction during shuffles.
The Wishy-Washy Wandas
The Wishy-Washy Wandas are most often senior citizens who add a nice flavor to any blackjack table. They are fun, talkative and have been playing blackjack for many years, mastering basic strategy long ago. Despite all that, The Wishy Washy Wandas refuse to trust basic strategy in certain situations! They will agonize over whether to hit 16 against the dealer’s ten and they will ask the opinions of those sitting next to them. Finally, they will stick. When the next card is a five, The Wishy-Washy Wandas will laugh, slap there hands on the table and order another Tom Collins. You gotta love The Wishy-Washy Wandas!
There you have it, a small sampling of players guaranteed to show up at a table near you. I guess a session of blackjack wouldn’t be the same without them. Now let’s head over to the craps table...
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